When we talk about anal sex, we are talking about a space highly coveted by many men, but whose door is not opened by many women.
The reasons why some women do not want to open this door are very varied, starting from upbringing, culture, society, and religion, to possible trauma resulting from sexual abuse, but also from painful experiences in their sexual history related to anal sex.
Whatever the reason, if you want to experiment with anal sex as a couple, it is necessary to keep in mind a few essential things, including the fact that it is possible it won't be pleasant the first few times.
Advantages and disadvantages
Advantages
the possibility of experiencing a new type of orgasm, even a much more intense one, thanks to the countless nerve endings in the anus, which are much more numerous than those in the vagina.
Being considered the forbidden fruit, anal sex can be classified as kinky, which immediately gives this experience an exciting connotation, while also sparking curiosity, as well as fear in women who have not experienced this type of sex before. It is like an invitation to bungee jumping.
It offers you another option if you are on your period or have a urinary tract infection. Don't put your desires on hold if your body asks for it and your hormones are racing! You also avoid stained sheets or situations where your partner does not like period sex.
there is no risk of getting pregnant.
Disadvantages
it can be a bit painful, especially when experimenting for the first time or if the man approaches anal sex the same way he does vaginal sex.
If a man is obsessed with anal sex, it can become a pressure for his partner, which can lead to the onset of fear regarding intimate acts and, over time, can lead to a total refusal from the partner.
The fundamental question a woman needs to ask herself before experimenting with anal sex is – do I really want to try this, or am I just doing it to please my partner?
Many women are not interested in experiencing anal sex, which means the partner must accept and respect this. My advice for women, however, is to be open to exploring the taste of anal sex because, according to statistics, many women who fail to reach orgasm through vaginal sex do reach orgasm through anal sex.
Communication, honesty, and patience are essential for having pleasant anal sex. This means taking it step by step and expressing to your partner what to do and what not to do.
I know it is sometimes difficult for a woman to express certain things so as not to upset her partner or be considered inexperienced, but the path to a pain-free and ultimately pleasurable anal sexual act is continuous feedback throughout the process (especially when it is the first time for a woman).
I encourage you to sincerely express anything... slower, it hurts, stop, I need more lubricant, etc.
Recommended lubricants - Anal lubricants have a suitable formula with a thicker texture that is more slippery and long-lasting compared to "regular" personal lubricants. Additionally, anal lubricant can reduce the risk of transmitting sexually transmitted diseases because it reduces friction, preventing injury to the anus while also facilitating penetration.
water-based lubricants – these are also good if they are the only ones on hand, but they are short-lived, so repeated application will be necessary as they dry out very quickly.
oil-based lubricants – these are very good for anal sex, but keep the following in mind - if you use latex or polyisoprene condoms, you should avoid using an oil-based anal lubricant, as it can degrade the material and make the condom ineffective.
silicone-based lubricants – these are the winners according to statistics when it comes to anal sex.
How to be sure you get the pleasure everyone talks about?
If it is the first time you want to experiment with anal sex, I suggest that on that day you eat lightly, clean the anal area, and possibly have an enema.
The anal sphincter is a muscle that cannot relax very easily. The key to achieving pleasure is learning to relax this muscle. Lubrication is the basic element.
My suggestion is to lubricate your anal sphincter yourself, gently inserting a finger on your own, so that you feel comfortable. You have nothing to prove to anyone! Plus, the sight you offer your partner by doing this can be very exciting.
Penetration with the partner's finger must be done very slowly, millimeter by millimeter, during which time you, as a woman, need to provide feedback to the man about how it feels. If you feel any kind of discomfort, you can tell him to stop and keep his finger inside, motionless, so you can relax. Only after the discomfort passes can you tell him to try again. If you still don't want to try anymore, it is just as fine to tell him to remove his finger, but very gently!
If it becomes comfortable, allow him to initiate the back-and-forth movement, guided by the rhythm you set. If it feels comfortable FOR YOU, he can very gently insert two fingers. If you feel comfortable with two fingers, you can move on to three fingers or directly to penis penetration.
Penetration with the help of small sex toys (mini vibrators and anal plugs) – is another way to experiment and relax the anal sphincter, especially since it also offers you the possibility of using the vibration function, which can give you extra stimulation and relaxation.
The most comfortable positions
Him lying on his back and you on top is the most recommended position for beginners, and for good reason! You are in control!
For starters, ask him not to move, so that you control the penetration and the rhythm.
On all fours, with arms extended, supporting yourself on your palms or elbows.
From behind, lying on your side
Whatever position you choose, it is important to take things slowly, without sudden movements, give yourself all the time you need; the idea is to learn to enjoy it, not for your partner to finish.
If you experience any discomfort, slow down or tell him to slow down and even stop.
Do not forget one very important thing: both penetration and the removal of the penis from the anus must be done as gently as possible!
Maximizing pleasure
For this experience to be as pleasant as possible, don't forget to add extra pleasure by stimulating the clitoris with your hand or a toy specifically designed for that purpose. I recommend those based on clitoral suction, which bring you pleasure in the shortest time.
Also, consider double penetration once you start feeling comfortable, as well as a glass of wine before the anal sexual act.
Another very important thing is changing positions and the angle of penetration so that you discover what makes you reach orgasm!
Attention! If you have anal sex rarely, the muscles will not relax completely, so it is recommended to have anal sex regularly.