How do we activate our senses? By being creative, letting ourselves be free, and learning to feel. The candle specially designed for full-body massage is a great way to experience sensations on the skin; wax play is a form of temperature play that involves dripping melted wax or oil onto your skin or your partner's. Anticipating the moment the wax hits your skin feels a bit dangerous and exciting, awakening a sense of fear and curiosity, to which the physical sensation, the scent of melted wax, the sound of your own and your partner's breathing, and the moans are added—through this whole amalgam of sensations, the senses will be on high alert. Part of sexual intelligence means seeing beyond the word "sex" and accessing all our senses, so as to transform the sexual act into art—the art of feeling. The sexual act is not a sport, it is not a workout, it is not just a release. Returning to the candle, however: you light it, then direct your attention toward your partner and let yourself be guided by your senses, creating that beautiful sexual tension. When you feel the time is right, take the candle and begin to drip gently, but not from too close, so it isn't too hot, although candles of this type are specially designed to melt at very low temperatures so that the oil is warm, but not hot. Communication is also essential, so verbalize what you are feeling and guide your partner. Move down with the drops, slowly, slowly, until you reach the Mound of Venus, an area curiously overlooked, but one that deserves special attention, as it is a very sensitive area to both touch and kissing. Click for video. We are not always ready emotionally, mentally, or physically for penetrative sex, but that does not mean we cannot enjoy relaxation with our partner, or that we cannot enjoy our erotic energy and intimacy. In general, it is good to experiment without having a final goal, such as orgasm, but rather to learn to live each moment, to discover new ways of creating pleasure, new erogenous zones, and new ways of connecting with a partner. Before anything else, we are primarily human; we are burdened daily by stress, emotions, and fatigue, and sometimes our bodies are not fit for a sexual act—an erection, in the case of men, is not as good as it should be, a woman's sexual appetite is not at a high level, and her degree of arousal may be below the lower limit. Sometimes we need a massage, hugs, we need to feel safe, first and foremost, in our partner's arms, without necessarily feeling the desire to have sex. But once relaxation, a sense of safety, and well-being have set in, things may transform, and sexual energy may make its presence felt.